Ross: Thanks, man, big help.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-
Chandler: Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.Ross: I know-
Chandler: I can't believe you did this. (Walks toward the door)Ross: Chandler-
Joey: Me neither, y'know what-
Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.Joey: What are you mad at me for?!
Ross: Chandler-
Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Ross: Joey-
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]Monica: Hey.
Rachel: Hey.
Monica: (Reading) 'A Woman Undone, by Rachel Karen Green'.Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?
Monica: (Reads) Yeah, I'd say so. And there's no 'j' in 'engorged'.Phoebe: (Walks up with her guitar) Hey Rach.Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe: Hello.
Monica: Hello.
Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
Monica: No, you?
Phoebe: No, you?
Monica: You just asked me.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Rachel: Okay. (Writes a little more) I am so hot!
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.Rachel: (Into microphone) Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. (Monica gives her a look) 'Kay. (Sung:)You don't have to be awake to be my man,As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand.Though we just met the other day,
There's something I have got to say...
(She sees Monica sneaking out) Okay, thank you very much, I'm gonna take a short break! (Runs out, knocking over the mike stand)Rachel: (Into mike) Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!
(Enter Chandler)
Chandler: What was that?
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)Joey: (Laughing) Mother-Kisser... (Sees Ross's look) I'll shut up.Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
